20th/22nd January 2016

Extracts from Facebook Page

20th

Oh one funny thing to report……………last night I went to bed and I am sleeping on Ians side. The quilt has a little turn down – ruffle bit near the pillow and I thought………..ohhhh look a sign from Ian to say come snuggle down. So in I gets and feel a big wet patch just below the pillow where the ruffles had been. Yep. The bloody cat had got on the bed and peed. Not quite the sign I wanted Mr Midgley!!!

……………………………………….

All this red tape, UAE rubbish is just about driving me crazy. My emotional energy is low as is my mental energy. Just go with the flow Denise. On the plus side, I did manage to play 18 holes of golf today………….well 16 holes before a phonecall put me in another spin. Its trying times. Not just losing my husband but trying to fight legal battles. Hey ho! Also on the plus side, got the children flying in tonight for a few days as we have a big send off for Ian at the golf club Friday. Over 120 people from the UAE coming. All pals. Another bitter sweet affair but so grateful for all the support coming our way from UK and UAE. So grateful for excellent family and friends. I could not and would not have survived so far without them. Stay with me guys. This road is a bloody long one and I don’t want to run out of petrol!!

22nd

The beginnings of panic attacks………………..not something I have ever experienced before but they are now starting. Family flew in throughout the day yesterday and all was good until late in the evening I went to Spinneys (this is not a spinning class for my UK lot!!! , It is the equavelent to a small Tescos, sort of!). First trip there since Ian went. A couple of mates and the kids were with me, and I just needed a few bits, but got to the till and started to have a wee panic attack and had to get out. I just had to get out of that shop. My heart was racing and I went into another little melt down.
A late night before I finally got into bed and had what I imagined little panic attacks all through the night. Just kept waking up in a panic. Eventually got up at 7am and went round my mates as again, I just needed to get out…….no one else was awake, but I still needed to run. A bit of a mess this morning. If this continues I will have to go the the Drs for something.
On the plus side – as I always like to put a plus in there – having a long bath and actually enjoyed using Ians razor as I knew he couldn’t moan at me this time………………..how bizarre is that…………….it made me smile for a second or two.
Big night tonight. Lots of people who loved Ian. It will be a very fitting night for him.
One foot at a time …………..at least my legs are clean shaven………….thanks Ian xx


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