Post one year is actually extremely hard. I have found I have hit a black hole. I am not sure if I am depressed or just got myself into a doldrum stage of my life. But every day feels a miserable day and that really is just not me. I want to be happy. I want to feel alive again. It’s just not happening right now. But this stage won’t last. It’s just another stage. I hate being a widow and I hate trying to start all over again.