Turmoil

15th March from my FB page

 

It has been quite a while since I last wrote in here. The main reason being that there has been a lot of negative things going on in my life that could not and maybe should not be shared, particularly at this time. Things will be written about eventually as this is my memories and my life and the effects of being a widow has on me, so everything eventually will be written about at some stage. Grief plays a strange part in all of the lives of people that have been affected by a loved one. I strongly believe that it can change peoples perceptions of things and can alter behaviours. For many months now I have put the actions, lies and downright disgusting behaviour of others down to being riddled with grief. But there is only so much I can and should take, and it gets to the point that things have to be said, and I shall defend myself to the core. I know I have always acted to the best of my ability and I know that I am an honest and truthful person. Everything I do is transparent and it is in my nature to protect others along my way to the point of not protecting myself. I will not continue to be ‘kicked’ and lied about no more. Anyone that this involves or is concerned about others can view any documents, emails, conversations, etc etc as I shall be putting them onto a platform where these can be viewed and can be seen to be correct and true. Some of you on here will know exactly what I am talking about and I please ask that you do not comment as it is IMO not right as these are opinions and not facts (though again some of your actually also know the true facts!), but I also do not want this wall to be one with negative comments about other people. I have thought for a long while about writing some things and have refrained from doing so, but now I strongly feel that this crap is actually a massive smear to my husband and that I will not tolerate. I constantly ask myself ‘what would Ian do”. “what would Ian think!” And I knew my husband and my husband certainly knew and loved me and I know that he would be appalled. Its a bloody sad stupid world sometimes!


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